Saturday, November 22, 2008

Linux And Martial Arts Humor - Linus Torvalds Vs. Chuck Norris

Hey there,

Hope your Saturday is going swimmingly, work isn't calling to bug you, your significant other is giving you that alone time you so desperately need or he/she is finally acknowledging your existence again ;)

As per usual, we're doing our best to find some quirky and/or original humor out there on the web, since no one ever wants to work on the weekend, much less read about it. Quite the opposite is true. To paraphrase Loverboy, the weekend is what everybody's working for. Why everybody needs a second chance still has me at a loss, and seems to dilute the purity of the initial truism so eloquently put forth by the band. Perhaps, in a universal sense, Loverboy is saying that, when that weekend we've been working for finally does arrive, we all manage to do something unbelievably stupid and/or harmful on Saturday. I'm assuming the second chance would come on Sunday, when we all (coincidence?) generally attend our religious congregation of choice and beg for redemption. It's also quite possible that we've (in a universal sense) gotten ourselves so deep in the sh** that (and here's where it really becomes clever) the entire reason we're working so hard "for" the weekend is because we won't be getting that second chance until then and "only" then. Of course, when that next weekend comes, we're duty-bound by logic to completely f*** everything up again. I don't know how long you could possibly stand living that kind of roller coaster life. Perhaps Loverboy, again, stated it best later in their career when, having matured to embrace a fuller and more worldly philosophy, they noted that you and me could let it be and just love every minute of it. Which would naturally segue into a much needed call to action... Ready, aim, fire??? Loverboy just doesn't make any sense to me anymore. ...maybe those hot girls really weren't in love? Have I been living a lie all these years? Almost paradise, indeed. I don't know what to believe anymore...

Anyway, back to reality :) I found the original part of this joke at and hopped from there to I'm not a huge fan of comic adulation, so the I found the Chuck Norris pages quite a bit funnier. The Chuck Norris site certainly does its fair share of bowing to the mighty Chuck, but (if you visit the site and actually read the entire list) the Linus Torvalds jokes get old pretty fast. They're all along the lines of the classic "yada, yada, yada... who him? No, that's God, he just "thinks" he's INSERT NAME OF YOUR HERO HERE." There was a reason they invented the APPLAUSE sign ;)

Hope you enjoy some of these, and definitely check out the sites if you want some more jokes (and some better, but not computer relate at all, ones at the Chuck Norris shrine).

Enjoy your Saturday and be good to one another :)

Chuck Norris vs. Linus Torvalds

Linus Torvalds once found a segmentation fault in the universe.

Linus Torvalds can run kill -9 and kill Chuck Norris.

Linus Torvalds doesn't die, he simply returns zero.

Linus Torvalds first written program had artificial intelligence.

Linus can divide by zero.

Linus Torvalds runs Linux on his wristwatch and toaster.

Linus Torvalds doesn't receive error messages.

There is no theory of probability, just a list of events that Linus Torvalds allows to occur.

Linus Torvalds takes one look at your desktop and knows which porn sites you visited. In the last ten years.

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.

, Mike

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