Saturday, July 26, 2008

More Linux and Unix Laughs For The Weekend

A fine Saturday to you,

Continuing the long tradition (this is the 3rd week in a row now ;) of throwing together some lighter stuff for the weekends, I collected a whole slew of new Linux and Unix related jokes found out there on the web. Today's fare just so happens to be more microsoft-bashing than actual Linux/Unix humor, but that aspect of the plethora of jokes available out there is expected. Users of the competing operating systems have been at each other's jugulars for a long time now. Obviously, I prefer the *nix operating systems to Windows and Mac (although I dig the OS X (and up) underlying BSD-ish OS). I must admit, however, that I do, very often, use Windows to run terminal software so that I can connect to my *nix boxes ;)

Most of this material is from a long running thread at The Ubuntu Forums. The apt-get joke is actually classified as an "Easter egg" and I found that at I'd recommend checking either site out. From the Ubuntu forum, I pulled my favorites, but you might like some of the other stuff on the 9 pages (and counting). The Easter egg site is pretty cool, too. Lots of stuff that isn't necessarily funny, but kind of cool and obscure.

Please note also, that the "sudoit" image comes from and was created by Randall Munroe. I had originally just attributed it to the message board, but thanks to the astute reader who knew where it "originally" came from and was kind enough to point this out. Attribution for this work will be repeated directly beneath the illustration.

I've split these jokes up into 3 sections: MS Bashing, Straight-Up Jokes That Don't Involve Bill Gates and The Easter Egg. For all the pictures, you can click on them to get to a larger (and perhaps more readable) version.

Here's hoping your weekend is pleasant and at least one of these jokes make you laugh quietly to yourself. LOL if you must ;)


Part 1 - MS Bashing:

Macs are for those who don't want to know why their computer works.
Linux is for those who want to know why their computer works.
DOS is for those who want to know why their computer doesn't work.
Windows is for those who don't want to know why their computer doesn't work.

"When you say 'I wrote a program that crashed Windows', people just stare at you blankly and say 'Hey, I got those with the system, *for free*'." -- Linus Torvalds

Have you ever noticed that at trade shows Microsoft is always the one giving away stress balls?

A Penguin Guzzling Down Windows

Part 2 - Straight-Up Jokes That Don't Involve Bill Gates:

Hardware: The part of the computer you kick when the software stops working.

A Geek's one night stand:

whois && gawk && uname && talk && date && wine && touch && unzip && strip && touch && finger && mount && fsck && more && yes; yes; more; yes; umount && make clean && sleep

host # cat "door: paws too slippery"
cat: cannot open door: paws too slippery

host # touch /woman
touch: cannot touch `woman': Permission denied

sudo chown -R us ./allyourbase <-- For information about why this is slightly amusing, check out the "All Your Base Are Belong To Us" page on Wikipedia. They actually have a very in-depth history of this mangled video game dialogue translation :)

If sudo was used in our daily lives
(c) Randall Munroe

Part 3 - The Easter Egg:

The Advanced Package Tool (APT) is a part of the software management system for Debian. Analogous to RedHat's RPM, but infinitely more capable, APT features automatic dependency handling and much more. If you're not a Linux type, it's like Windows Update for adults.
1. Login to a shell as root.
2. Type "apt-get moo" and press ENTER.
3a. An ASCII-art drawing of a cow will be displayed, with "Have you mooed today?".
3b. If you use just "apt-get", a help file is shown with the various switches available. At the very end it says "This APT has Super Cow Powers".

, Mike