Hey there. Thought I'd do something insane today to break up the monotony. Something along the lines of our older nonsense post entitled Linux vs. Unix: Sins Of The Father?
As a special note, this isn't typical of the day in the life a Unix or Linux Admin - Enjoy :)home # ssh sweatshop
The integrity of the workplace 'sweatshop (10.99.99.99)' can't be established.
RSA key fingerprint is e3:6e:86:58:cd:38:dd:71:70:60:ea:ea:82:92:fb:72.
Are you sure you really can't find a better way to spend your day (yes/no)? yes
Warning: Permanently extended your at-will employment at "sweathouse"
Password:
Last login: Thu Dec 11 15:16:43 2008 from home
Sun Microsystems Inc. SunOS 5.10 Generic January 2005
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Warning: Unauthorized access to this facility is forbidden and will be
prosecuted by law! By entering this place of employment, you agree that
your actions can be monitored if unauthorized usage is suspected and/or
the management needs a good laugh while they wipe their collective arse
with hundred dollar bills. Have a great day and "earn" that buck!
sweatshop # ./security -wtf -fingerprint "Do you really not recognize me yet?"
security: option -wtf not appreciated. Please refraing from using foul
abbreviations or a fingerprint scan will be the least of your worries.
./security --help suggests ways in which you can express your displeasure
in a more productive and meaningful manner.
sweatshop # ./find /office -name "today's cubicle" --user mgolvach|xargs sitdown && space_out && try_to_remain_unnoticed
try_to_remain_unnoticed: today's cubicle: No such f@@@ing way - read /etc/motd for more information
sweatshop # cat /etc/motd
Get that cat outta here! Get back to work. Check your job queue asap. Deliverables with a deadline of tomorrow have been moved up by 8 working days.
sweatshop # ./jobs
[1]- Idle submit_mind_numbing_triplicate_requests &
[2]- Idle move_the_stuff_mgmt_had_you_move_yesterday_back_to_where_it_was_orginally &
[3]- Running monster_job_search_daemon
[4]- Running the_boss_-_off_at_the_mouth_that_is
[5]+ Waiting sleep 3600
sweatshop # fg %1
please refer to subsection a of paragraph b in volume 3 of the rules and regulations manual as pertains to the filing of claims which fall under international law and are therefore subject to any, or all, provisions listed in paragraph 3 subsection c of the company standards and practices manual. File all papers appropriately, as incorrect filing may result in your having to submit additional paperwork in the form of
^C
sweatshop # ./jobs
[1]- Idle move_the_stuff_mgmt_had_you_move_yesterday_back_to_where_it_was_orginally &
[2]- Running monster_job_search_daemon
[3]- Running the_boss_-_off_at_the_mouth_that_is
[4]+ Waiting sleep 3600
sweatshop # fg %2
command: mv technical_documentation technical_docmentation.bak
warning! Unauthorized use of "mv" detected. This incident will be reported!
command: help
warning! Unnecessary use of "help" command. Now someone who really needs it will be given the short-shrift. This incident will be reported!
command: quit
...backgrounding process move_the_stuff_mgmt_had_you_move_yesterday_back_to_where_it_was_orginally
sweatshop # ./jobs
[1]- Idle move_the_stuff_mgmt_had_you_move_yesterday_back_to_where_it_was_orginally &
[2]- Running monster_job_search_daemon
[3]- Running the_boss_-_off_at_the_mouth_that_is
[4]+ Waiting sleep 3600
sweatshop # kill %1
[1]+ Defunct move_the_stuff_mgmt_had_you_move_yesterday_back_to_where_it_was_orginally &
sweatshop # ./jobs
[1]- Running monster_job_search_daemon
[2]- Running the_boss_-_off_at_the_mouth_that_is
[3]+ Waiting sleep 3600
sweatshop # fg monster_job_search_daemon
...Still nothing. Suck it up for a little while longer! You can do it! Believe in yours^C
sweatshop # ./jobs
[1]- Running the_boss_-_off_at_the_mouth_that_is
[2]+ Waiting sleep 3600
sweatshop # fg the_boss_-_off_at_the_mouth_that_is
...and another thing, you worthless piece of human^C
waste, how many times do I have to ask you to^C
fill out these forms correctly? You're possibly the only person I've met who's dumber than a sack of wet hammers. If I had my^C
way, you'd be hitting the bricks this aftern^c
oon
sweatshop # kill kill kill %1
[1]+ Terminated the_boss_-_off_at_the_mouth_that_is
sweatshop # ./jobs
[1]+ Waiting sleep 3600
sweatshop # fg sleep
Broadcast Message from slavedriver@sweatshop
(/dev/pts/0) at 16:12 ...
user mgolvach - you are being notified. Please wake up, do your job or face severe penalties in the form of a costly and time-consuming HR process designed to eventually sever your employment!
Mgmt
sweatshop # echo "Blow me"
blow me
sweatshop # ./shutdown -I_can't_believe_that_last_command_didn't_get_noticed
sweatshop # exit
sweatshop # error in file ".logout" : You may never leave. And your pay grade has been lowered.
sweatshop # quit
sweatshop # quit: command not found
sweatshop # kill -9
sweatshop # quit: command suddenly recognized again. Have a nice day :)
home # connection to sweatshop lost
home # at 6am
warning: commands will be executed using /bin/sh
at> wake_up_and_do_it_again
at> <EOT>
job 898 at 2008-12-12 06:00
home # init S
, Mike
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