Todays Unix and Linux humour find brings back a lot of memories from the dotcom days for me. Humungous Stock Option incentives, constant excitement about a possible IPO (Coupled with constant worry about getting laid off next week ;) and, of course, the frequent (and often mandatory) drinking on the job. Yes, there was a "valid" reason software upgrades were published before the QA phase back then ;) This is, strangely enough, a practice that continues to this day... except without the booze. In today's fast paced world, managers are expected to make bad decisions with a clear head ;)
And, before I get myself in too much "more" trouble, here's the bit I found on softpanorama.org called the NetSlave Quiz. Of course, the full version is available on their site, along with a quit a bit more!
Hope you enjoy it and, if you're like me, don't be ashamed if you start feeling a little bit misty ;)
Out of respect for the original publisher's rights, I have not modified any of the links within the piece. They don't look like affiliate links to Amazon.com, but, if they are, he (or she) will be getting paid if you buy. I have a strict no-hijacking policy (more of a moral/ethical thing than any worry about the legality of it. I just wouldn't want anyone to do it to me. Kind of like that "golden rule" everyone keeps talking about ;)
Softpanorama Open Source Humor Archive
A variation of Steve Baldwin's
Adapted from the Amazon.com NetSlaves
page by Nikolai Bezroukov
PART I: YOUR WORK LIFE
1. AT YOUR LAST JOB INTERVIEW, YOU EXHIBITED:
B. Mild Wariness
C. Tried to overcome headache. I was really tied
D. Controlled Hostility
2. DESCRIBE YOUR WORKPLACE:
A. An enterprising, dynamic group of individuals laying the groundwork for
B. A bunch of geeks with questionable social skills.
C. An anxiety-ridden, with long hours and a lot of stress because of
backbiting bunch of finger-pointers.
D. Jerks and PHB
3. DESCRIBE YOUR HOME:
A. Small, but efficient.
B. Shared and dormlike.
C. Rubble-strewn and fetid.
D. I have a personal network at my home with three or more connected
computers and permanent connection to the Internet
PART II: YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH TECHNOLOGY
4. MY PERSONAL COMPUTER:
A. Maximizes my productivity.
B. Is my best friend.
C. Lets me work all kinds of crazy hours at home.
D. My computers can heat my apartment.
5. MY ALPHANUMERIC PAGER:
A. Is a convenient way to stay in touch with my office.
B. I do not like when it sometimes goes off at night
C. Has been temporarily disabled and I receive warning because of that
D. I have it all the time and always wear a cell phone on my belt.
PART III: YOUR INTERNET KNOWLEDGE
6. WHAT DOES THE "I" IN IPO STAND FOR?
7. WHAT DOES THE "E" IN E-COMMERCE STAND FOR?
8. WHAT ARE THE "THREE C'S OF THE INTERNET?"
A. Content, Community and Commerce
B. Cults, Chats and Clutter
C. Cheetos, Chinese Food and Coke
D. Crap, Costs and Chaos
9. WHAT IS THE "WINDOWS ENVIRONMENT"?
A. A graphical operating system.
B. A ploy for world domination.
C. A bug-ridden, proprietary disaster. Open source is the way to go.
D. Linux rulez.
10. WHO IS THE REAL "FATHER OF THE INTERNET"?
A. Vice-president Gore
B. Vinton Cerf
C. Linus Torvalds
D. George Orwell
11. WHY WAS THE INTERNET CREATED?
A. To simplify a way to bid out jobs to an immigrant workers.
B. To boost the Dow over 10,000
C. To create a new bunch of billionaires
D. To create an IPO gold rush.
PART IV: YOUR HOPES AND FEARS FOR THE FUTURE
12. WHY ARE YOU WORKING IN THE INTERNET BUSINESS?
A. To get rich.
B. To get by.
C. Linux rulez
D. Nobody else will take me.
13. DESCRIBE YOURSELF POLITICALLY:
14. DESCRIBE YOUR RELIGION:
C. Open Source
15. WHAT WILL HAPPEN IN 2000?
A. It's revenge time for brick-and-mortars.
B. Your girlfriend may dump you for a doctor or Venture Capitalist.
C. You are feared that your health insurance may run out and you may not
have new contracts to renew it.
D. You are feared that you will be fired or outsourced with no equity.
HOW TO SCORE YOUR RESULTS
- If you answered “A” to any of the above questions, your IEQ
("Internet Exploitation Quotient") is zero – you’re not a
Net Slave. Reading The Cathedral and Bazaar can be beneficial
- If you selected "B," you’ve probably just started working in
the technology business or lead some sort of charmed (mythical?) existence
the rest of us only dream about. Reading NetSlaves
of CatB recommended
- For those answering mostly “C” with some D -- you are on your
way to becoming NetSlave. Reading NetSlaves
- For those who answered mostly “D,” -- you are Net Slave. Also
you should probably contact a mental health professional immediately,
probably will not help much, but you can try.
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