Sunday, August 3, 2008

Humor And Disaster - The Chicken Crossing The Road

Hey there,

Hopefully, you're having a relaxing Sunday :) Right now, I'm in the midst of what I can only describe as a sneak-preview of Hell while I try to set up my new laptop. It's the first one I haven't had "loaned" to me from work (meaning, they wanted me to have it so I could be available... ), and I'm beginning to long for those days of restriction. It probably has something to do with Windows Vista, but that would mean the MS put out an Operating System that couldn't limp with 4GB of memory and a 2.1GHz processor... I mean...

...yeah, it'll probably be running Linux by tomorrow :) While I curse and fume and scrape away at this reinvention of the wheel (bigger and slightly less wheel-shaped ;), I'll leave you with some more funny stuff I found at this Unix Humor site. Some of it's a bit dated, but funny nonetheless. I'm putting the "chicken crossed the road" joke out here, but you should definitely check out this site for a whole lot of other funnies that, at the very least, the site owner deserves recognition for putting all in one place :)

Have a peaceful Sunday, and I'll try to restrain myself while I fill out the MS survey once I get the internet connection (which brings up Google.com) to connect to Microsoft's site (through their own redirected support link and various runonce-type aspx files). It's so unbelievably ridiculous, it's funny in and of itself. ...at least it might be if it was happening to someone else ;)

Cheers,

From Dobrica Pavlinusic on Fri, 10 Jan 1997 17:07:53 +0100 (MET)


How did the chicken cross the road (fwd)

This message is in MIME format. The first part should be readable text,
while the remaining parts are likely unreadable without MIME-aware tools.
Send mail to mime@docserver.cac.washington.edu for more info.

--m-i-m-e-b-o-u-n-d-a-r-y-s-t-r-i-n-g
Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; CHARSET=US-ASCII
Content-ID:


How did the chicken cross the road
----------------------------------

NT Chicken:
Will cross the road in June. No, August. September for sure.


OS/2 Chicken:
It crossed the road in style years ago, but it was so quiet
that nobody noticed.


Win 95 Chicken:
You see different colored feathers while it crosses, but cook
it and it still tastes like ... chicken.


Microsoft Chicken (TM):
It's already on both sides of the road. And it just bought
the road.


OOP Chicken:
It doesn't need to cross the road, it just sends a message.


Assembler Chicken:
First it builds the road ...


C Chicken:
It crosses the road without looking both ways.


C++ Chicken:
The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you'd simply refer
to him on the other side.


VB Chicken:
USHighways!TheRoad.cross (aChicken)


Delphi Chicken:
The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on the
other side.


Java Chicken:
If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, the server will
download one to the other side. (Of course, those are chicklets)


Web Chicken:
Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps on running


Gopher Chicken:
Tried to run, but got flattened by the Web chicken.


Newton Chicken:
Can't cluck, can't fly, and can't lay eggs, but you can carry it
across the road in your pocket !


Cray Chicken:
Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don't dip it
in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side fully
cooked.


Quantum Logic Chicken:
The chicken is distributed probabalistically on all sides of the
road until you observe it on the side of your course.


Lotus Chicken:
Don't you *dare* try to cross the road the same way we do!


Mac Chicken:
No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross the
road, so there's no way to tell it to.


Al Gore Chicken:
Waiting for completion of NCI (National Chicken-crossing
Infrastructure) and will cross as soon as it's finished, assuming
he's re-elected and the Republicans don't gut the program.


COBOL Chicken:
0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.
IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES THEN
PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD
VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL
ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE
ELSE
GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING


--m-i-m-e-b-o-u-n-d-a-r-y-s-t-r-i-n-g--


, Mike